Long Gone
Listening to the cardinal’s dactylic longing— hopeful but insistent—I remember this morning’s dream. She lifts her dress—not seductively but matter-of-fact—to show the blossom tattoo on her lower hip,...
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Often our dreams are triggered by noises we hear in our sleep; perhaps this red bird had triggered the dream the narrator now remembers. I like how the final line replicates the call of the bird and...
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"hopeful but insistent", interesting. Combines the younger, more sexually assertive energy with the older, less hormone-steeped. pretty nice poem- and from "she lifts her dress...to the end it seems...
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Love it all. My kind of poem. I wasn't sure about the repeat at the end until dale pointed out the sound of the bird's call Enjoyed
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We get lucky in our dreams at times and want to return to that warm place... only we can lose lose our way. Nice touch.
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This is just lovely. I only wondered about matter-f-fact vs. matter-of-factly. The end is just right. Just right.
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Perfect poem. It starts on one note, dips and ends on another. Who can ask for more from a poem?
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I appreciate the comments. This one seems to be working. Yes, Dale, I doubt a much younger version of myself could write this poem. As for "matter of factly," I just couldn't go there--too jarring to...
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I don't feel the adverb form is indicated. I like matter-of-fact; it says fact is beyond any action of hers--which is at the core of the poem's strength, imv! the rep. does work well. It does the bird...
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